Archive for April, 2010

April 29, 2010

Riddle

While driving to meet our parent’s for dinner –

Nathan: Shannon, what is something that you consider to be obscene?

Me: (with a bit of hesitation) A womanizer.

Nathan: Okay, well riddle me this – what is something you don’t consider obscene, but society would view as obscene?

Me: (without hesitation) Jesus.

*********************************************************************

So, what is something you consider to be obscene? Then, what is something you do not consider obscene but that society would view as obscene?

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April 25, 2010

Untold hurts

There is no love without forgiveness, and there is no forgiveness without love.
-Bryant McGill

To forgive is the highest, most beautiful form of love. In return you will receive untold peace and happiness.
-Robert Muller

Sincere forgiveness isn’t colored with expectations that the other person apologize or change. Don’t worry about whether or not they understand you. Love them and release them. Life feeds back truth to people in it’s own way and time.
-Sara Paddison

Forgiveness.

Something that sounds so lovely and divine.

Something that quite possibly is one of the hardest things to do.

I wonder why that is. Someone inflicts pain upon us, in our hearts, and we…

a: take it and hold it in then maybe deal with it later
b: lash out with words or actions
c:  take it in and nurse the wound until it’s a festering sore and then a scar
d: become bitter toward that person

There are several ways to deal with hurt. Those are only a few I’ve seen recently. Where did we lose ourselves? When did we become so disconnected? Is it really our place to hurt those we love, or maybe worse, those we don’t love?

And what do we do once we hurt someone we may love or not love? What do we do when we are hurt by another?

Lately in my world there has been a lack of acknowledgement and forgiveness from those around me. From myself also.

When did I become so disconnected?

There comes a point in your life when you have a situation on your hands and you are forced to look inside for strength- it may be your own, it may be something outside of you, it may be someone you love going through something which in turn effects you. You have to take a minute and find something to cling to. Whether it’s your determination and resolve, ability to compartmentalize and keep things in their boxes, pray… a lot, hold onto your significant other, cry into your pillow, escape to the woods…

You have to go back and dig deep to find out why you feel the way you do. How did you get there? Who helped you get there? What did they do… or not do? How did you react? What could have happened differently?

Why is it so hard to forgive?
Why do we enjoy holding onto our wounds and showing off our scars?

Eventually you run into a wall. Brick or otherwise. But a wall. Tall and strong and thick and scary. You stand in front of it and you have to make a choice. Hang out behind it? I mean, you helped build it, it’s a pretty secure structure… maybe it’s not so bad back here. You think,  “maybe if I hide here I can stay comfortable. Sure things aren’t great, but I don’t know what is beyond this big honking wall and that is kind of scary”. Or you look at it and walk around it and think of ways to take it down. Examine it, see the weak parts. Find a way to take it down.  Analyze it, think of the possibilties that lie beyond the wall. Accept them, and get excited, and take it down.

Brick by brick. Person by person. Wound by wound.

I don’t have answers tonight. I don’t have much, other than the insight that I’ve come to and the need to forgive and love. I wish that I could take this feeling and stuff it into the other people in my life that need to feel it. Sometimes it’s okay to feel heartbroken and use it to grow.

Die to yourself. Let it go and be free. Offer forgiveness. Offer love. And move forward.

xo- Shannon

April 22, 2010

Oh, discoveries

I went to NOC today with Erin to give them info about LJ. We had a blast. She’s great, so fun to go on a road trip with. Especially when you get to get the heck out of the office and see other people. We ate at a charming place called Cork and Bean it’s like a wine/coffee/crepe place. Kinda great.

I’ve always only had a dessert crepe, even when we were in Paris. It made me happy in my heart to try something new. Avocado was involved, just saying.

While we were walking I had to take a couple of snapshots (of course), forgive the quality, my camera phone isn’t up to par with Ira.

I love love love the yellow table and chairs! I’m going to have to have some in my house. Fo sho. And the green door just made me happy in my heart!

Happy Thursday, friends.

xo s

April 21, 2010

There is a black crow sitting next to me

Here is where I am:

Here is where I’d like to be:

Oh my, I find myself going on mental vacations to these kinds of places. It’s oh so nice. We all know the only place I’d really like to be is with Mr. Horton. But, when I’m not day dreaming about him, I’m day dreaming about these lovely places. In a sundress. With daisies. And golden sunshine.

xo. S

April 20, 2010

Coheed

Years ago my brother introduced me to Coheed and Cambria. He had been listening to them and I hated their music. Like, yelled at him to” turn that crap down” any time he was rocking to it on the computer.

Then one day, in the van where I couldn’t escape, he put an ear bud in my ear and made me listen to one of their songs and he danced and sang to it. One of my favorite memories of Nathaniel.  Since then Coheed has been one of my favorites. They came out with a new album and Far is my favorite song – so here it is for you to listen to, even if you hate it. I would dance for you and sing it if I could. But alas, I’m limited to merely giving you a mental image.

xo.s

April 18, 2010

Sabbath

I went to The Vine this morning. I met the Holy Spirit there and we hung out for a while. The movement this morning was almost overwhelming. I love times like that. I also met this little one… she captured me. Precious innocence in a broken and thirsty world. So refreshing to see her surrounded by believers who were likewise captured by her… and Him.

Happy Sabbath, friends.

xo. s

April 17, 2010

Oh, spring.

I met my friend, Carla, for morning coffee and a walk around the lake. It was heavenly. There is nothing like seeing an old friend and being able to have coffee with her and have excellent conversation into the bargain. We took in the morning sun, spring flower smells, and we saw the local eagle that has taken roost around our lovely lake!

I also talked with my love for a while this evening. So lovely. I’m thankful for the time that we have given the fact that we are so far apart. It’s nice to hold him close in my heart.

I’m meeting a couple of friends later and we’re going to the saturday night service at the church. I’m looking forward to seeing them and having a nice night full of Jesus and fellowship!

Happy Saturday, friends. Here are some wee photos from my walk this morning:

April 17, 2010

Yeah, it’s mine!

Love it!

April 15, 2010

Stephen, is my favorite.

A few things:
1 – I totally sprayed my legs with self tanner last night and wore a skirt today sans leggings and it was incredibly exciting. Bonus: not orange!
2- I went to a workshop today that reminded me of why I got into marketing in the first place – a breath of fresh air
3- I had an excellent lunch with a colleague at a restaurant that I’ve never been to before
4 – Wax bottles. Just sayin’
5 – Seeing a sight for sore eyes (like that Andrew?) We finally got skype to work and I got to look at him and talk to him all at once. I fairly swooned! He’s so handsome
6 – Incredible run this evening. Sweat was pouring off of me, it was disgusting. And awesome.
7 – Braveheart is on. Stephen, is my favorite.

Kind of a great list there, eh? I signed up for an art class! I’m so excited about it! It will run about the length of Andrew’s absence and will be the perfect outlet for other projects I have coming up. Like you know, being a marketing consultant. Crazy!

Here is a little fun from today:

xo  S

April 12, 2010

Day 3

You know, this may not be so bad. It’s so nice to miss someone so badly and then hear their voice. It’s like balm. Manna from heaven! Thank you, Jesus, for technology!

I went to Panacea for a while this afternoon, I was supposed to meet my Papa there for some coffee and quiet time. He ended up not being able to come. But, I saw a friend of mine and the owner of Panacea actually came over to my table and hung out with me for a while. It was really cool.

It’s a rare thing to enjoy a stranger’s company. To bond with someone you don’t know over a cup of coffee. We talked about Africa, his significant other is over there also. She is helping small business owners break into the American market and he is going to visit her in a couple of weeks. That led to travel talk, which led to coffee talk, which led to boyfriend/girlfriend talk. It was a pretty great time.

I also got to go to the gym tonight with a friend. Once again, amazing how you can bond with someone while you’re sweating and thinking, ‘Goodness i’m going to die here.’ Gym talk is always interesting to me. A lot of the time you’ll see two friends talking it up about sex or politics or their boss. Other times you’ll see people that run into each other and get really excited about it. And then there are the people that come alone. I wonder about those people. As I’m sweating and about to die on the elliptical – praying that my 10 minutes which will go on and on until 30 will pass quickly – I like to watch the people that come to the gym alone. I wonder about their stories. About where they work, if they’re married, if they have kids.  There is a pattern that emerges with those people. They stay in their world until they notice you looking at them and then they glance at you quickly like, what the heck is this crazy girl looking at, and act like you’re not there. Social experiments are always interesting.

So here we are, day 3. Social experiments, phone calls from heaven, bonding with strangers. I’m excited to see what tomorrow brings!

xo – Shan